Connecting is not Enough.....the newsletter

The latest edition of Connecting is not Enough, my fortnightly newsletter, is now available here.

This fortnight's edition includes:

- How F W de Klerk and Nelson Mandela collaborated to raise funds for their respective Parties

- Badge-ring the Wrong People

- Step into the Shoes of your Referrer

- The Taxpayer

The Perfect Referral

I recently spoke at a Success Day for Forever Living Products in Cheltenham. The event was the result of a referral from Dave Clarke of NRG Networks, and, more specifically, a regular meeting we have to see how we can help each other.

Having a referrals strategy is not as simple as asking people 'can you refer me?'. It involves a clear understanding of the introductions you are looking for, knowing who your 'Champions' are and communicating clearly enough to make it simple for them to help you.

In his 'Business Networking Blog', Dave has described how the referral came about from his point of view.

Are you getting enough referrals from your network? Are there people who you know would be willing to refer you but don't? In your referrals strategy, it is important to understand the perspective of your referrers, rather than just coming at it from your own angle. It's too easy to miss the importance of this and not see the wider picture.

Try asking your most likely referrers what they need in order to refer you. You might be surprised at the responses.

The Secrets to Successful Connecting - Jill Lublin

I'd like to welcome a guest blogger this month. Jill Lublin is a renowned US author and has just published her third book in the States, 'Get Noticed… Get Referrals: Build Your Client Base and Your Business by Making a Name for Yourself'




Connecting is the art of building relationships; relationships that last. It’s the forming of bonds with people that can grow into deeper, closer, more meaningful relationships.

Making close connections is essential because people prefer to work and interact those with whom they feel connected. They share common interests, feelings, values, and beliefs. They trust them and want to help them more. Instead of concentrating on closing one-time sales, it is better to build close, long-term connections that will endure.

Be honest and build trust. Exaggerating and falsifying may help produce quick sales, but over time, they will do you in. Overstating and failing to deliver as promised kills relationships because customers want what they were promised. Few will continue to conduct business with those who have not kept their word. Not delivering precisely as promised is the best way to ruin your reputation and brand.

To create solid connections, follow these suggestions:

• Perfect your art. Deliver top quality. Do what you do excellently, as well as it can be done. “There is no substitute for quality,” T. Harv Eker states. If the quality you provide is outstanding, you don’t have to do lots of networking. People will network for you. They will tell others about you and recommend you. People love to refer others to those who provide the top quality.” It makes them look good.

• Stick to the facts. It’s easy to exaggerate and promise more than you can deliver, but it doesn’t pay. Be honest. Connect with potential customers by telling them the results your goods and services have achieved. Better yet, document the results, put on demonstrations, and show them proof. Provide them with endorsements from satisfied customers; take them to sites to your goods or services in operation with other customers. Then explain to your prospects exactly how you can help them.

• Don’t promise too much — especially if you may not be able deliver. Be completely honest. It’s better to lose a sale and stay on good terms with the prospect than to land the sale and subsequently alienate the customer. If your honesty costs you a deal, think of it this way: the customer may remember your truthfulness and call on you again. However, if you over-inflate or fail to deliver, your future with that prospect will be doomed, over, kaput. Plus, aggrieved customers tend to tell their friends about their dissatisfaction — especially when they feel they were intentionally deceived.

• When you’re looking for business, offer your goods or services at an attractive price. Be fair and don’t gouge; build trust. Give potential customers a price incentive for giving you their business. When you have performed well for them, you can use them showcase to sell future customers. You will also have forged connections with satisfied customers who will give you repeat business and recommend you to others. Ask satisfied customers to give you endorsements or letters of commendation. Have them write on their letterheads how excellently you performed. Post the commendations on your Web site, hang copies in your office, and keep them in a scrapbook that you can show potential customers. Insert them in your brochures and sales materials.

Your Outlook

Remember back in school how different personalities emerged and distinguished themselves. Every school had characters such as the nerd, the rocker, the jock, the babe, and the brain. Yet the one we tend to remember most fondly is the clown.
We all noticed the clown because he made us laugh. He connected with everyone through his humor; by making everything funny. The clown could make the most ordinary situation, the gravest circumstance, and the blandest personality absolutely hysterical. During the darkest moments, his quips broke the tension and lightened the mood. Humor was his focus, his outlook, his forte. His wit was what distinguished him and how he connected.

Great networkers also have special outlook. Like the clown who instinctively looks for humor, networkers are programmed to connect people. Great networkers constantly try to meet new people, learn all about them, and link them so that they can build close, mutually-beneficial relationships.

Distinguish yourself and boost your business by developing a connecting attitude. Be pleasant, friendly, and fun. People like to be with and do business with those they like, not with grouches. Train yourself to be a connector; develop a connecting frame of mind by constantly thinking in terms of whom you can connect. Here’s how to proceed:

Make two lists:
1. List people you would like to meet.
a. Create a plan to meet your targets.
b. Identify those who could introduce you to your targets or people who could
connect you to them.
c. List what you have in common with your targets such as common:
i. Friends.
ii. Businesses.
iii. Backgrounds.
iv. Interests.
v. Values and beliefs.
2. List people that you could connect with each other. List what they have in common:
a. Friends.
b. Businesses.
c. Backgrounds.
d. Interests.
e. Values and beliefs.
3. Create a plan to connect those individuals.

Connecting is addictive. When you make a strong connection it’s so satisfying that you can’t wait to do it again. It’s also rewarding because people are grateful for your efforts on their behalf. Successful connections motivate; they make you focus more on connecting and bringing more people together.

Since connectors are always trying to make matches, they become possibility people. Possibility people explore, try, and make things happen. They push the limits and don’t immediately accept “no” for an answer.

Possibility people stand out because they’re optimistic and more likely to achieve. They also tend to be creative, resourceful, and inspirational. If you want to increase your business referrals, develop a connecting outlook.


Jill Lublin is the author of two national best selling books, Guerrilla Publicity (which is
considered the PR bible and is used in university marketing courses), and Networking Magic (which went to #1 at Barnes and Noble). She is a renowned strategist and international speaker.

As the CEO of the strategic consulting firm, Promising Promotion, Jill has created successful techniques that implement bottom line results. Jill is founder of GoodNews Media, Inc., a company specializing in positive news. She is currently the host of the nationally syndicated radio show, Do the Dream, where she interviews celebrities who have achieved their dreams. Jill has recently been featured in the New York Times, Woman's Day, and Entrepreneur Magazine, as well as on ABC, NBC, CBS radio and TV national United States affiliates. Get Noticed…Get Referrals,

Jill’s third book, was just published by McGraw-Hill. Website: www.JillLublin.com

For more information about Jill Lublin Author of Get Noticed… Get Referrals: Build Your Client Base and Your Business by Making a Name for Yourself (Touring July 7 - August 1) visit http://virtualblogtour.blogspot.com/2008/06/jill-lublin-author-of-get-noticed-get.html. We invite you to visit various blog tour stops throughout the month to learn much more about Get Noticed… Get Referrals.

Networking to Get Work...kids and strangers

The last two questions from the recent article in The Sun newspaper

Isn’t Facebook just for kids, can I network there?
Since Facebook opened membership to the public, people have looked at the business potential, with mixed success. Facebook have started ‘brand’ pages where people can become a ‘Fan’ of your business.

Facebook is ‘viral’ by nature, meaning that you can spread your message. But you have to understand how to do so and your business needs to be a good fit.


Why would a bunch of strangers want to help me?
Many people avoid networking because they can’t see themselves referring, or being referred by strangers.

Think about the people you support and refer now. Can you remember when you didn’t know them? Networking is about building relationships. Networks provide you with the opportunity to do that. The rest is up to you.

How Can I Help You? How to make generating referrals for your business so much easier

If someone asks you how they can help you, how clearly can you let them know how they can best make a difference to your business? If I was to ask you to tell me the ideal introduction for you, how effective would your answer be?

For most people, the response offered is normally ineffective. We all know our business really well but that makes it difficult for us to focus in on one key area when we are offered support. Yet, if you ask someone to do too much for you, the chances are that they will do nothing.

Why do I say that? It’s quite simple, the more vague or more broad your request, the more work there is for someone else to respond to it. Last week someone told me that they want to speak to anyone who owns a house. How many people do you think I know who are homeowners? How about you?

To meet that request, you have two choices. You can whittle down the list of homeowners you know to someone you’re happy to introduce him to; that alone requires a lot of thought and work and how do you make that decision? The other choice is to offer everyone we know as an introduction, probably very valuable to the person asking but a huge task for us and it’s not one, to be fair, that we are likely to complete.

In fact there is a third choice in circumstances like this, and it’s the one that most people will turn to. That choice is to do nothing at all as neither of the previous alternatives are very attractive.

How much easier would it have been if the selection process had been done for me, in the request? If, instead of being asked who I know who owns a home, I had been asked who I know who has just bought a new home? Instead of a long list of people I know, I would instantly have thought of just one or two people. Assuming that I am happy to make a connection, it would be a lot more likely that I would do so in these circumstances….wouldn’t it?

Always be as specific as you can in requests to your network, remembering that, if people find it easier to refer just one person based on a focused, clearly made description, you will gain far more than listing all of your wants and needs.

Whether you ask for people in a certain situation or name individuals or specific companies, this approach tends to produce much better results. Time after time.

"What's the Difference between Conversation and Advertising?"

This was the question just asked at the end of a BBC London news report into a new marketing initiative in the Capital City.

London taxi drivers, famed for their ability to chat throughout your journey on any subject under the sun, are now talking about the sun. Around 60 Black Cab drivers are being flown out on all-expense paid holidays and then asked to come back and wax lyrical about the destinations to their captive audience. Others are being briefed on the companies behind the adverts carried outside their cabs so that they can promote their products.

This simple example of Word of Mouth marketing has the local media buzzing about buzz.

Earning Referrals

Ask businesses how they get most of their new leads and best prospects and most will usually reply 'referrals and recommendations'. Ask them what strategy they have to maximise the flow of this new business and many will look at you blankly.

Over the years I have met many business people who will spend time and money developing marketing strategies incorporating PR, advertising, cold calling, exhibiting and other routes to market, yet leave referral generation to chance. The common response is "I let my customers refer me".

In his recent book, Truth or Delusion, Dr. Ivan Misner, founder of BNI, says,

"On several occasions, my coauthors and I discussed the point that I made in my book, The World's Best Known Marketing Secret, about how people were under the delusion that good customer service alone was enough to enable them to build their business through word of mouth. We shared stories about people we'd met over the years who had gone out of business waiting for good word of mouth to rescue them."

Dr. Misner discusses how good customer service is a prerequisite, we expect it. People are far more inclined to talk about bad news than good. Just look at the front pages of the newspapers most days of the week if you don't believe me.

It is not enough just to provide a good service and expect referrals. How many times do you attend a restaurant, eat good food, enjoy good service and then tell all of your friends about it? Compare that to the amount of times you have a bad experience, with poor food and rude service. You want to tell everyone not to go to that restaurant. Don't you?

Good service is expected when we buy something. That doesn't give us something to talk about. The fact is, if we want people to be our Champions, to advocate us to other people, we need to go that bit further.

This chart, used by the CEO expert Roger Harrop during a recent presentation I attended, illustrates this perfectly:



If you fail to meet people's expectations and they are dissatisfied with your product or service, as you would expect, they will leave you. If you meet their expectations and they are satisfied, that is fine but they are still prey to other people making better offer. To keep people buying from you, they either need to be very satisfied or you have to exceed expectations. But to make them Champions, you need to achieve both. Or as I put it, substantially exceed their expectations.

Give people a story to tell and you will win referrals. Just don't expect people to refer you simply because they are happy to buy from you.

Networking with FOCUS - Bringing it all Together

If you have been following this series of articles, you will have noticed a couple of key ideas cropping up again and again. Hopefully by now, you will have recognised the importance of having a strategy for your networking rather than leaving things to chance.

As we have discussed, while many people look down on ‘networking’ as a series of old boys clubs or small businesses desperately exchanging business cards, in reality individuals and businesses of all sizes need to network to succeed. And that is much easier with a clear vision of where you want to go and what you need to do to get there.

In addition, you may have noticed the regular use of the word ‘focus’ throughout the series. Unfortunately, most businesses lend very little focus to their networking and therefore experience unsatisfactory results. This isn’t because networking doesn’t work, it’s because of a lack of thought that has gone into it.

As discussed in previous articles, to get networking to work, you need to:

• Know what the Financial return from your networking should be
• Set out some Objectives across the board, not just looking at the financial benefits
• Know what Commitment you need to put into your networks to get the results you want, and how much you can manage
• Ensure that the people who want to help you can Understand what you are looking for
• Bring all of this together into a clear Strategy for your networking.

In short, add some FOCUS to your networking and watch your business or your career accelerate forwards.

Networking with FOCUS - Giving Your All

Having set clear objectives, the next task is to establish the best places to network. With so many opportunities available, you need a clear understanding about which meets your needs and to which you can give the necessary commitment.

With your objectives in mind, research the groups in the area you want to develop. Visit them and find out exactly what is expected from you should you join. Membership of a networking group does not guarantee results. Whether building relationships, regular attendance or planning for each meeting, there are key tasks you need to undertake for success.

Two of the most common traits of successful networkers are generosity and reliability.

Much is made of giving first and then receiving in turn. Funnily enough, it works! You may not receive back from the same source, but, if you establish the reputation as a generous person who connects others, people will want to help you.

If everyone turned up at networks looking just to take, who would be there to give anything to them?! It is important to commit to help the group and others. It can also be a great way to raise your profile.

Reliability is a key factor in building others’ confidence in you. You must do what you say you are going to do, follow up on the contacts you make and turn up when expected, ready for the meeting. Who would do business with, or refer, someone who has not previously been reliable?

Ensure that you can devote time and energy to whichever network you decide to join. And if you can’t, don’t expect positive results.

Next time … Helping Others to Help You

How Important is 'USP' in the Relationship Economy?

Twice in the last fortnight I have been asked by people how they get across their 'Unique Selling Proposition' to people they meet at networking events.

We have been told by marketing experts for many years how important it is to have a 'USP'. What is it that makes us different from our competitors? Why should people choose us and not someone else?

There is no doubt that it remains important for businesses to have a clear understanding of what their strengths are and where they stand out from the crowd. I am not so sure, however, quite how relevant this is in a networking environment. After all, we are also continually reminded that 'people buy people'.

At a networking event, or as part of a networking group, you will benefit much more by getting to know people and building a relationship that you ever will by creating the perfect marketing message that highlights your USP. More importantly than people buying people, people refer people they know, like and trust.

Yes, once people know, like and trust you, you want to build their understanding of your business so that they are in a better position to refer you. At that point a strong knowledge of your strengths in the market place are important. You can also use your USP to help you focus people on who you want to speak to, in other words, who in particular needs what you are best placed to provide?

In other words, as the relationship develops you can educate people about your USPs. However, the relationship must come first.

Yesterday I was talking about the first person to raise this question with me. Try as I might, I couldn't remember her USP. But I remember her.