Establish Contacts - Mike Southon's column in the Financial Times

Mike Southon, best selling author of 'Beermat Entrepreneur' and the other Beermat books, recently interviewed me for his weekly column in the Financial Times.

In the article, 'Making Contacts', Mike talked to me about the need to generate a strong referral strategy and making the most of the connections you have.

You can read Mike's article here.

Networking his way to a Challenge

I've been giving a lot of talks recently on The Importance of Networking in a Recession. In the talk I focus on the three key ways in which individuals and companies can benefit from networking, becoming better-known, better-equipped and better-connected.

In the audience at my talk last night was Steve Trister, the creator of the £1 Challenge. Steve is completing the London to Southend bike ride later this year and, rather than ask a few close friends and family to sponsor him, has decided to raise £1 million for the British Heart Foundation by asking one million people to each donate £1.

Not a simple challenge. What is interesting is that Steve has used his networks exactly as I described in my talk to take the challenge forward.

The first thing Steve did was to bring his challenge to a peer-support group to which we both belong, Wild Card Pack. The group spent over two hours listening to Steve's aims, asking him a lot of tough questions and then providing ideas and solutions to help him move the challenge forward.

As a result of that support, Steve went forward better-equipped than he had been before, with answers to a lot of questions that he hadn't even thought of before! Inspired by the session and realising he couldn't do it alone, he left to form a team around him, from his network, who would bring the skills to the table that he lacked and would help him achieve his goals.

With the help of that team, and other supporters in his network, Steve then got stuck into the job of raising the profile of the challenge. One team member took the task of publishing regular updates on social networks like Twitter and Facebook, while others commented, shared and retweeted those posts. Friend of Steve's invited him to events they were attending or organising and, where possibly, arranged for him to give a presentation about the challenge.

In fact, over the last month it seems as though I can't go to a networking event without Steve being there! He is certainly using both his networks and other people's to become better-known, something that is vital if the challenge is to succeed.

One of the ideas that came out of the Wild Card Pack brainstorm was the importance of celebrity endorsement. As a result, Steve has reached out to his network to connect with celebrities who have been willing to record short viral videos promoting the challenge.



Celebrities who have contributed to date include the former World Champion athlete Kriss Akabusi, DJ and chart topper Fat Boy Slim, football legends Tony Cottee and Graham Roberts and astrologer Russell Grant. These celebrities, and others who have contributed, have come through referrals from Steve's network, not cold approaches. His networking, coupled with a focused approach and strong message, have helped him to become better-connected.

In just a few weeks over 1,000 individuals have donated £1 each to the challenge. There's still a very long way to go to achieve Steve's goal of raising £1 million, but he's already achieved so much more than he would have done trying to raise some sponsorship on his own.

He's used his networks, and other people's, to ensure the challenge could become better known, that he would be better equipped to deal with the hurdles in his way and to get the connections he needs to drive it forward. It will be an amazing achievement if he succeeds. With the help of those around him, he stands a very good chance.

Are you Referral-Aware or do you have a Referral Strategy?

I was discussing referral strategy yesterday with someone I had, appropriately, been referred to by a client. The company are a sales-focused company with a strong referral awareness, yet it became apparent that despite that awareness there is no strategy. That shortcoming is potentially leaving a lot of business untapped.

What was very interesting was the fact that well over 50% of new leads generated comes from cold-calling and, when asked, he was unable to name the company's top referral sources. While the company is referral-aware, the activity they follow is simply asking for a couple of referrals at the end of the meeting. Every member of their team knows that they need to do this yet, as I have discussed elsewhere, while that approach will produce some results, it is far from the most effective tool available.

Towards the end of our conversation we talked about the best ways and times to inspire our clients to refer us.

"It's interesting", he said. "We only ask our top clients to refer us once, and that's when we first meet."

A good referral has two key elements.

- Someone has to have a high degree of trust in you to refer you with confidence. The more they trust you and want to refer you, the more likely they will and that their referrals will convert and you will retain the ongoing business.

- The person referring you knows who you are looking to meet, why they need your help and how you can help them. In short, they understand how to recognise and convert opportunities to refer you.

When you first start working with a client the levels of trust and understanding are a long way short of where you hope they will be as the relationship between you matures. Asking just once, at the start of the relationship, misses the opportunity in two big ways. They are asking when people are less likely/interested in referring them and they are not asking when people like them enough to help and know how to.

Who in your network, or among your clients, knows, likes and trusts you enough to refer you, yet you never ask them? How many people have you asked for referrals before they've had the chance to build that trust or really understand your business? How successful were you?

It's not enough to be referral-aware. You need a referral strategy, or you'll be leaving business untapped and money on the table.

"I detest networking"

"I loathe that word, I don't know what it's supposed to mean. I detest the very concept of it."

And with a few words, BBC Radio London presenter Vanessa Feltz dismissed networking on her radio show this morning.

It would be fair to ask Ms. Feltz why she has such strong feelings about networking, particularly when she admits to not knowing what the word means. The same feelings have been traditionally held by many people whenever networking is raised.

Is it a fear of 'Old Boys Clubs' or 'The old school tie'? A fear of being manipulated or played?

Whatever it is, it demonstrates a strong and worrying misunderstanding of what networking is all about. Why would anyone detest the concept of mutual support? What is there to loathe about the idea of people helping each other by sharing ideas, expertise, experience or contacts? What do people have to fear from people working together to achieve more than they could on their own.

More people than ever are beginning to understand the power and the benefits of networking. It seems, however, that there are still many who need to be convinced, including those with the public's ear.

A Career in Networking....10 Years On

Today sees me celebrating a landmark anniversary. On May 11th 1999 I started a new life, having left my previous job to become a freelance writer. To pay the bills while I found some writing assignments I took up a part-time role with the newly-formed Business Referral Exchange.

Ten years, two books, several magazine columns and a blog later, I never did make it as a freelance writer!

The last decade has seen a huge growth in the popularity of networking. We have moved from a time when most people had never heard of the concept and those who did went to the few events available armed with stacks of business cards and the intention of signing up at least five new customers on the night; to a culture where relationship-building is the order of the day and where you can network 24 hours a day, online on thousands of websites or face to face at breakfast, lunch or dinner.

As I write this, one group of networkers have gone abroad for a one week retreat....things really have moved on.

There is still a long way to go though. People still, on the whole, treat networking as an afterthought, attending meetings and joining groups based on invitations and not on strategic thinking. Far too many businesses walk away from networking because it hasn't delivered results, despite never having identified what those results should look like.

I expect to see more tremendous changes over the next decade. and hope that one of those changes is the recognition of networking as a serious business tool that is built into the marketing strategies and development plans of businesses of all sizes.

How long have you been networking and how important a role does it play in your business?

What changes do you expect to see over the next ten years?

Keeping in touch - it doesn't have to be that tough

One of the biggest challenges facing the active networker is keeping in touch with the many contacts they meet. If you are attending large numbers of networking events and also connecting with an array of new people online, how do you stay in touch on a regular basis?

Obviously online social networks are a great tool for keeping your name in front of many people efficiently, but the personal touch is equally important.

It doesn't have to be that difficult. I have just received an email from a fellow speaker and friend Graeme Codrington. Graeme subscribes to a book summary service and has just sent me the contents of a summary he has received from a book about networking strategy.

In the simple act of forwarding an email to me, Graeme has demonstrated that he is thinking of me and of what will be useful to me, has reinforced his position in my mind and helped to build our relationship.

When you see something interesting, don't just ask yourself how useful it is to you, ask who you know who would also be interested in it and forward it.

It's that simple.

And our survey says....

Just how many opportunities are left behind because of our fear of networking, or inability to create a networking strategy to guide our activity?

Last week I spoke at a networking event for the events industry for londonlaunch.com at the excellent facilities hosted by The Royal Society of Medicine at One Wimpole Street in the West End of London. There were over 200 people in the audience from the events industry, ranging from conference organisers, event travel firms and recruitment consultancies to venues and even the UK's leading Madonna tribute act!

It was interesting to find out what this group had in common. Thanks to the state of the art facilities at One Wimpole Street, I ran a quick survey.

Using a 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire' format, I asked people to vote on a number of questions, using keypads by their seats. The results were interesting, if not surprising to me!

The primary goal of 74% of the attendees was to either meet new people or raise the profile of their business, yet 72% of them had come with, and were sitting with someone they already knew.



It would be fair to point out that this wasn't a scientific survey and the result might had been slightly different if we had held the vote in an open area with people standing and able to mix, rather than in a lecture theatre. How different would it have been though? Whether at networking events, conferences or seminars we do naturally head towards the people we know, into our comfort zone.

The reason is that we haven't set our primary goal before we come. If we did, it would be more natural to leave our colleagues and friends behind for the duration of the event. Yet most of us turn up without that clear focus in mind.



Only 14% of the people there admitted to having a clear vision for their networking, knowing where every event fits in. 27% simply accept invites on an individual basis. Despite this, 86% rate networking either as 'quite' or 'very important' as a business development tool. The vast majority were in the latter category.



These are worrying results. With so many people networking on an ad hoc basis, results are so much harder to come by for everyone. We need to move to a position where people understand what networking can bring to them and act accordingly, selecting the right events to attend and interacting positively to reach their goals.

A good understanding of the right way to interact with others can make a big difference. The session after my talk buzzed as people took up the challenge to open a conversation without asking 'what do you do'. Suggesting people don't use 'I'm going to the toilet' to close a conversation also left a lot of people standing with legs crossed, yours truly included!



It starts with the understanding of why you're there though. That's where a strategy makes all of the difference.

The National Networker

The National Networker is both a newsletter and web portal for people interested in networking in the US. Four editions a month are emailed to subscribers across the States and worldwide, with contributors covering networking in their regions, countries and industries.

I am delighted to announce that, from 13th April, I have been appointed the UK Bureau Chief for The National Networker. I will be writing about the networking scene in the UK every month, looking at people, networks and events. My first article, out this Sunday, looks at the growth of Ecademy, culminating in the tenth birthday celebrations a couple of months ago.

You can subscribe to The National Networker here.

Networking to Get Work...kids and strangers

The last two questions from the recent article in The Sun newspaper

Isn’t Facebook just for kids, can I network there?
Since Facebook opened membership to the public, people have looked at the business potential, with mixed success. Facebook have started ‘brand’ pages where people can become a ‘Fan’ of your business.

Facebook is ‘viral’ by nature, meaning that you can spread your message. But you have to understand how to do so and your business needs to be a good fit.


Why would a bunch of strangers want to help me?
Many people avoid networking because they can’t see themselves referring, or being referred by strangers.

Think about the people you support and refer now. Can you remember when you didn’t know them? Networking is about building relationships. Networks provide you with the opportunity to do that. The rest is up to you.

Networking to Get Work - "The Elevator Pitch"

I’ve been told that I need an ‘elevator pitch’ if I go networking. What’s that and where do I get one?

The ‘elevator pitch’ is the concept where you find yourself alongside Bill Gates in a lift and have until the doors open to tell him what you do. I hate the idea!

At any networking event you’ll see lots of people asking each other…”What do you do?”. This is the networking equivalent of “Do you come here often?”! Let’s be honest, most people ask out of politeness, not genuine interest.

This is followed by the prepared elevator pitch, a one-minute lecture outlining everything you do, delivered to someone who couldn’t care in the first place and who is waiting to deliver their own pitch!

Networking is about building relationships and trust, not pitching. Find out what you’ve got in common with each other, not what you haven’t. You’ll find it much easier talking about football if you’re both big fans, than you will talking about accountancy when you have no interest at all.

Networking to Get Work - Small Affairs full of Small Businesses

Continuing the extracts from my recent article in The Sun newspaper providing networking tips for small business:

I’ve been to a couple of networking events and they’ve been small affairs full of small businesses. The people I want to sell to aren’t there.

It is a very common mistake to look at the numbers attending an event and who they are when judging how useful it will be to you. You must avoid such pitfalls.

Most people attending networking events are small businesses. If you attend your local Chamber of Commerce or weekly breakfast meeting, it’s very unlikely that you will find high-level decision makers from corporates there.

You’ll find a group of people with a very wide-ranging network. People whose clients, best friends or neighbours are your ideal prospects. Even people who may be married to your dream referral!

I once discussed this point with an attendee at a talk I gave at Milton Keynes Chamber of Commerce. She said that, when people ask what she does, she sometimes mischievously replies, “I’m a housewife”. At that point, she said, people can never get away quickly enough. They don’t even ask who she’s married to!

Business, Networking.....and Sex!

Ivan Misner, the Founder of BNI, together with two associates, Hazel Walker and Frank De Raffele, are currently conducting some research for a book on the difference between men and women when networking.

Ivan says, "Sex is about how your body is put together. Gender is about the role you engage in daily. Male and female brains are hardwired differently. According to some experts, the male tends to be about taking action as related to goals (called instrumental functions by the scholars) and the female for the talking or for nurture that is related to relationships (called agency or interpersonal functions). Studies in 39 different countries highlight these differences.

"Well, we want to see if this is true and how it plays out relating to the way that men and women network."

Please take a few minutes to help Ivan and his colleagues out. So far, 5,000 people who have already answered their survey on this subject.

Take the networking gender survey here.

Network to Get Work - How Easy is it to Sell at Networking Events?

As you may know, I had a full page article published in The Sun newspaper this week under the headline 'Network to Get Work'. The Sun asked me to provide tips on networking based on seven questions often asked by small businesses. If you didn't see the article, I'll reproduce the questions here over the next few weeks, together with my response.


How Easy is it to Sell at Networking Events?

Going to a networking event does not provide the easiest opportunity to sell. There are few quicker ways to repel other people than going up to them and pitching. If you think about it, at most events you’re wasting your time trying to sell, as very few people attend looking to buy anything. Why would you try to sell to someone who’s not looking to buy?

That shouldn’t discourage you, however. You can certainly increase your sales through networking, even if you don’t sell direct at the event. Through networking you can find a lot of people who can spread the word about your business and introduce you to new customers. Many organisations, such as local Chambers of Commerce, put on large-scale local events monthly that will help you to raise your profile in the area and get more people talking about you. People have to know that you are there.

Focus on speaking with people who you get on with and where you find conversation easy. As one person once said to me, “pursue the relationship, not the sale”. Do that and you’ll find yourself developing a team of ‘champions’, people willing to tell everyone else about you and point new business in your direction.

The beauty of this approach is that, if your champions then need your services themselves, they’ll then come to you out of their own choice. In the meantime, they’ve been referring you left, right and centre. Far more valuable, wouldn’t you agree?

Networking your way up Google - from obscurity to Number One in under an hour!

While delighted with the coverage I received in yesterday's Sunday Times newspaper, I was faced with a small dilemma...they had spelt my name wrong. Who is this 'Andy Lapota' fellow?

Now, with a name like mine, you'd think I'd be used to this. I can assure you, I gave myself a swift kick on reading the article, I've seen my name spelt in so many different ways that I should be briefing people by now when it is important.

The problem was that if people want to search for me after reading the article, they wouldn't be able to find me on Google under the misspelt name. I simply wouldn't appear in the results. To make things worse, I had gone away for the weekend and couldn't get any internet access to address the problem.

Enter David Petherick, a fellow Ecademist. David called me after seeing the article, and misspelling, in the paper. He offered to resolve the search problem as quickly as he could.

David Twittered, David Pownced and David Blogged. Forty minutes later, I managed to get onto my mobile phone browser while on the motorway (don't worry, I wasn't driving!) and googled 'Andy Lapota'. From not featuring at all, my name now occupied the first two places on Google, courtesy of Mr Petherick and the SEO capabilities of sites like Ecademy. Even more impressively, both posts were addressed to Sunday Times readers looking for more information on me.

From obscurity to number one in less than an hour. Now, that's the power of networking!

A Starter's Guide to Business Networking

It's been a busy start to the year and as a result I've been neglecting my blog, for which I apologise. I will be looking to remedy that over the coming months and sharing with you a range of thoughts, tips and articles to help you network.

To start off with, I have just written the following tips for a marketing forum and would like to share it with you. It reiterates some points I've made in the past... but it never hurts to re-emphasise how important it is to have a strategic approach to your networking.

If there are particular areas you would like me to focus on in this blog, please do let me know. Your feedback is valuable.

For those of you who have said that you would like to come and see me speak, we are just confirming a couple of dates for public events and I will post them up here as soon as I can.

Andy
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If you are new to networking, there are so many networks you can choose from. It makes life very tough. Many people simply join the network they are invited to, without a clear expectation of what they want from it. Here are three tips to make life a bit easier:


1 - What do you want to achieve?
Different networks provide different things, and it is important to be aware of what you're looking for from your network. Generally speaking, you can classify business networks into one of three main areas, although there will be overlap:

Profile Building - do you want to raise your profile in your local area, or globally through an online network such as Ecademy?

Brain Building - are you looking for peer group support, local knowledge, enhanced skills or greater understanding of your industry?

Referral Building - is your aim to develop a network of people who will champion your business and bring leads to the table?

Once you know what you want to achieve, you can look at the different networks available and ask yourself, and them, how strong they are in each of these areas. Then set clear goals from your membership that you can measure to see if it's working for you.

Online or offline?
With the growth of online networks, many people now ask whether these replace offline. A lot depends on what you want to achieve but the bottom line is NO!

Whether you connect with people through a facilitated network or through your own endeavours, nothing can replace personal contact. If you are going to build strong relationships with people, it's much better if you've seen the whites of their eyes! Online networks bring you closer together, but you still need to meet up wherever possible.

Of course, you can learn from each other and build an initial relationship online, but if you want people who will truly go the extra mile for you, you need that personal contact.

3 - What do you need to put in?
Networking is a proactive activity. It doesn't help to join a network and sit back waiting for the results.

Once you have clear goals from your networking, ask yourself what you need to do to achieve those goals. From attending events and preparing, to meeting fellow members regularly and having a clear idea of how they can help you, the focus you have on what your commitment is will make a big difference to the results you get from your network.

Please don't sign on the dotted line, hand over your cheque and sit back waiting for the benefits to come flooding in. You will be very disappointed with the results if you do, and so will your network.

'tis the Season to be Merry

As we enter the last week before Christmas, you're possibly in the midst of event after event, from work Christmas parties, through awards dinners to catch up lunches with a host of clients.

Naturally the prime aim of these events is to have fun and let your hair down (for those of you lucky enough to remain sufficiently hirsute that is!). We can't ignore, however, the fact that you will be faced with a host of networking opportunities, both in terms of relationship building with colleagues, clients and suppliers but also the chance to meet new contacts.

If you get an invite to an annual dinner or awards event, how can you make the most of the opportunity?

One idea is to take a guest with you. Someone who is already well-connected in the local business community. As people tend to stick more closely to their own crowd at such events, if you attend with a 'connector', you will find that they will introduce you to a host of people you didn't previously know.

One client recently introduced his brother-in-law to one of his team who is based in the same area and who is responsible for business development. When the two met, they found that they both have very extensive networks locally and, between them, they know most people in the area. They now have plans to attend a range of networking events together, introducing each other to people in their network. What a great way to share their respective contacts.

So, when that invite next lands on your doorstep, ask yourself...who can I invite?

Are You Feeling Enterprising?

Next week is Enterprise Week in the UK. Part of the Make Your Mark Campaign, Enterprise Week (12-18th November) is a national celebration of enterprise in all its forms with thousands of events and activities happening across the UK. Last year there were 3,184 events, and 448,000 people took part!

Make Your Mark is the national campaign to create an enterprise culture in the UK. It aims to inspire young people in their teens and twenties to have ideas and make them happen. The not-for-profit campaign is backed by an unprecedented coalition of businesses, charities, education bodies and government.

It was founded by the four leading UK business membership organisations – the British Chambers of Commerce, the CBI, the Federation of Small Businesses and the Institute of Directors. Their Director Generals sit on Make Your Mark’s board. It is also supported by the Department for Business, Enterprise and Regulatory Reform and is endorsed by the Prime Minister, Gordon Brown.

As part of Enterprise Week, I'll be speaking at Bucks New University on Tuesday 13th and at The Young Retailer Forum on Friday 16th. I'm also attending The Future Face of British Enterprise at The British Library on Monday 12th.

There are bound to be events in your area. Check out the Enterprise Week website for more information. If you are already attending or organising a networking event next week, find out if they are part of Enterprise Week already, or willing to join up with the campaign.

The Conference Commando

I have just returned from a fantastic, if exhausting, weekend at the Annual Convention of the Professional Speakers Association, where I was honoured to be elected to the Board.

This was my third such convention and, by far, the most valuable. For many small businesses, the investment in such events, both in time and financially, prompts a lot of thought about where the value lies and whether it is worth their while attending. This weekend will see a return of several times my investment should I follow through with a number of the connections made. That's what I call a 'no-brainer'!

That has not, however, been the case before. Previous conventions, while enjoyable, have not necessarily produced similar results.

At my first convention, three years ago, I learnt a lot, an incredible amount. I wrote pages and pages.....and pages.... of notes from the excellent speakers and focused workshops. Over the weekend I came up with idea after idea after idea which could transform my business.

And I put none of them into action.

The simple fact is that I learnt too much. I didn't have a plan to put the ideas learnt into action, hadn't put the time aside to review my notes and implement key thoughts, I failed to allow for follow-up. One of my contacts took the following week off just to go through her notes and ideas and look at her business, how many of us can add this to the time already invested?

Wary of this problem the following year, I was too resistant to new ideas and didn't really understand what I was going to get from the convention. I didn't really understand why I was going and got exactly what I planned for from it...nothing.

As a result of that experience, I didn't attend in 2006. With the change in my business in January, coupled with my impending election to the Board of Directors, I needed to be there this year, so I started to think about what I could get from the convention.

I knew not to write page after page after page of notes from the speakers. Instead I kept an 'Action Sheet' at the front of my notes and focused on writing down the two or three key points from the convention that, added to my business model or speaking style, could make a difference. I wrote only a few notes beyond that, most of them focused on particular areas I need to address.

That is no reflection on the quality of the speakers and workshops. I learnt a lot from some of the best speakers in the world; but there is a huge difference between what you learn and what you implement.

The main focus for me at Convention, however, was the networking. That may sound obvious coming from me but my networking this year was far more focused and planned than previously.

The week before the event I was reading Keith Ferrazzi's book 'Never Eat Alone'. In his chapter 'Be a Conference Commando', Ferrazzi talks about networking at conventions and says, "Conferences are good for mainly one thing....they provide a forum to meet the kind of like-minded people who can help you fulfill your mission and goals." Going to a Professional Speakers Convention and focusing on time away from the talks may seem strange but, in a lot of ways, that's where the value is.

Taking Ferrazzi's advice I contacted some of the attendees in advance of the events, suggesting that we take time to meet over the weekend. I arranged breakfast meetings, rather than focusing on finding a spare seat, and spent time with individuals. In addition, I have a range of meetings to set up over the next few weeks with other contacts made in the last three days.

The opportunities already created from these connections include a promised meeting with a Director of an NHS Trust to look at networking within that Trust, an invitation to speak to a group of Chief Executives, a meeting to discuss synergies with another speaker that may lead to the creation of a new CD and cross-referrals and the possibility of establishing speaking opportunities overseas.

That's not a bad return for an investment which, although for many may look large initially, pales into insignificance against the potential return.

A Hand Up The Ladder

We're constantly told how important personal connections are when taking the next step on the career ladder. It is said that 70% of all vacancies are filled by personal recommendations and connections.

Last month I had the pleasure of meeting with Lori Friedman. Lori is the former COO of AOL UK. Lori's story underlines the importance of personal connections.

Back in 2000, Lori was looking for her next career move. She saw the post of COO of AOL UK advertised and felt that it would be the ideal next step for her. Applying for the job, she soon found herself meeting with the agency retained to lead the search. Despite what she felt was a positive interview, Lori didn't hear any more.

About six months later, Lori was talking to a client of hers, Neil Thomson of St. Lukes Advertising Agency. During the conversation, Lori found out that Neil's wife is Karen Thomson who was, at the time, CEO of AOL. Lori mentioned that job that she had applied for. Neil grabbed her CV and took it back to his wife, telling her all about Lori and how she would be perfect for the role.

The rest is history!

Trains, Planes and ......... Sweet Chariots

I've never been a great believer in the principle of networking with absolutely everyone you come in touch with, irrespective of the situation and your state of mind. Some people talk about the value of networking at the airport, on planes, in the supermarket or in the bus queue. Maybe it's the Brit in me, but that's just not my style.

To be honest, very often when I'm travelling, for example, I treasure a bit of 'me' time. The chance to collect my thoughts, switch off or to read a book. In a business where I am constantly in meetings or at events, it is nice to get a breather every now and then.

I also feel that attempting to engage absolutely everybody you meet in conversation can come across as forced and unnatural. With the number of people travelling with their ipods, laptops and books, you can also risk interrupting people who are enjoying their own 'me' time. Far better to let conversation start naturally where both parties are open to it and develop as you identify something you have in common. There is a big difference between being open to new conversations and tasking yourself with starting them.

Sometimes, however, the conversations you enjoy with strangers when you travel can open doors for you, and not always the doors you would think.

Last weekend I travelled to Paris with a friend to enjoy the party for the Rugby World Cup Final. We didn't have any tickets, nor did we expect to be able to buy any. Certainly not at the prices the media were reporting, the day before the Final it was reported that two tickets had been sold for £25,000!

As we had booked our travel at the last minute, along with 60,000 other English supporters, we were taking one of the less glamorous and more arduous routes. The train to the South Coast, ferry to Dieppe and train to Paris via Rouen. Leaving Newhaven at 11pm on the Friday night, we were due to arrive in Paris at 10am the next day.

Only one obstacle lay in our path, the choice of the French railway unions to strike two days previously. Various rumours suggested that the service was not yet back up to standard. Conspiracy theorists among our number wondered whether the service would be worse on routes to Paris for the English-facing ports than from elsewhere!

Our first inkling that the rumours may be proved true was when we got to Dieppe station at 7am to check on our scheduled 7.44 train. It was cancelled! With the next train not due until 8.22, we went away to get some breakfast. Coming back to the station, we found that the 7.44 had miraculously appeared and carted off the rest of the England fans on time, leaving four of us (me, my friend and two others) to curse and wait for the next train.

The journey took another twist on arrival at Rouen at 9.30, the next train to Paris wasn't due to leave until 12.50, nearly 3 and a half hours later. As the whole point of our trip was to soak up the atmosphere of Paris on a World Cup Final day, spending the rest of the morning in Rouen didn't hold too much appeal! We got together with the other stranded couple and found a nearby car rental firm, where we hired a car between us to drive to Paris.

Leaving our new found friends on arrival, we made our way to our hotel to meet up with friends and then off to a restaurant they had previously found for some French Onion Soup, perfectly cooked steaks and, naturally, a couple of bottles of French Vin Rouge. While we were waiting for our starters, another England supporter came in and sat alone on the the next table. After a couple of minutes, when it was clear that nobody was coming to join him, we invited him over.

Nick (or let's call him Jonny Wilkinson, as that's his real name!) turned out to be a really nice guy, over from the US for work in the Hague, and a big sports fan like the rest of our group. We got on very well over lunch, mainly chatting about football and rugby tournaments each of us had been to. Halfway through the lunch Nick found out that I didn't have a ticket for the match. Nick had already bought a ticket before being invited as a corporate guest and he offered me his spare, at a personal loss and a substantially lower rate than other people were generally asking around Paris and elsewhere.

Nick stayed with us until just after the match and then joined us afterwards for a few commiseration drinks. We have also stayed in touch over the last few days.

The next morning we dragged ourselves up bright and early for the 13 hour marathon journey back home. We met up with Phil and Sharon, our car-hire buddies from the previous day, for breakfast and caught the train together.

The alarm bells started ringing when I got on the train. Due to take us all the way to Dieppe, the signs on the door simply said 'Rouen'. On investigation I confirmed that we simply had to change at Rouen and catch the connection to Dieppe. It later transpired that it wasn't that simple.

Half way to Rouen, the guard came through the carriages asking for people who were travelling onto Dieppe. It transpired that our train had been cancelled and our next connection would leave at 2.30pm. The only problem was that our ferry was due to leave at 3pm, and that was the last ferry of the day. A group of about 30 stranded English passengers gathered at Rouen to find out what could be done. The car hire companies were shut, the train company weren't willing to take on responsibility, and the next bus to Dieppe was due in at 2.30pm but couldn't be guaranteed. The rush for the taxi queues started!

Once more we found ourselves travelling by road instead of rail with Phil and Sharon. This time we were in a taxi to Dieppe rather than a hire car from Rouen. Making the ferry comfortably, we watched as taxi after taxi arrived from Rouen, and the bus turned up just in time!

After an uneventful ferry crossing, Phil and Sharon offered me a lift further up the train line, rather than relying on the local service from Newhaven. Yet another road trip saved incalculable time as it turned out that we had avoided a major part of the route where the rail line was closed and I would have had to catch a replacement bus service!

I arrived home exhausted after a marathon weekend where I had spent twice as much time travelling to and from Paris as actually there. As a result of speaking to people I hadn't met before, I had avoided long delays, confusion, major expense and missed ferries. I had also been able to afford a ticket to the World Cup Final, something that I hadn't expected at the start of the weekend given the prices people were quoting....and getting.

Oh, and Nick, Phil and Sharon could all turn out to be excellent business connections. We did talk about business but in each case the discussion came a long way into our conversations. Phil and I discussed each other's businesses during the taxi journey back to Dieppe and it looks as though there are a lot of synergies between us and many ways in which we could help each other. With Nick, we have touched on business and know what each other does and the opportunities are more likely to arise as the relationship develops. And if it doesn't, we made a good friend, naturally.